I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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