I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
