At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
