Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
