Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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