I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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