Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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