Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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