well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
