i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
