Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
