I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
