kristin has been a bad kristin
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
