My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
