I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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