I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
