So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
