What a fucking waste of an outfit
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
