Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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