so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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