i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
