I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
