I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
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