I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You need a sexual gate keeper
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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