Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
