Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
