Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
