i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
