is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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