What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
