Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
