i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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