i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
