Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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