the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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