Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
