I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
