awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
