9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm passing your future prison.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
