No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
