I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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