I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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