I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
