I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
