white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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