I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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