Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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