its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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