All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
