So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
