I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
