Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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